I will go unto the Altar...
Order of Malta
Summer Youth Lourdes Pilgrimages 2010 #1
22 – 30 July
20 July
I am beginning this blog for the first two pilgrimages of the Order of Malta Summer Youth Pilgrimages to Lourdes, France. This is my fourth pilgrimage in the summer to this sacred place.
Some of you may have followed the blogs in the past and I welcome you back. I also welcome those who are reading along for the first time. The point of this blog is to try and give a spiritual reflection on what we are doing on these two pilgrimages. I will try to avoid a “schedule blog” that merely lists what we are doing.
21 July
What are we doing?
Through the miracle of secondary education, somehow or another, I was taught the laws of physics and thermodynamics. Applying this knowledge has resulted in packing my bag.
Okay, to be honest it was probably more the hours playing Tetris and other video games!
Now the final hours before the pilgrimage...
I am backing up programs and files. I have a few last minute things to do and mentally, I am heading to the airport.
What is it we are going to?
I was showing a few people some of the videos from previous pilgrimages and I saw in their faces admiration of what has happened in the past. As I looked at the videos as well, I recalled the pilgrims who experienced a change in their lives because of this pilgrimage. Sure, there's some for whom it did not have that impact. But for many it really did.
And I hope this is why we are going there again.
Lourdes is about service; it is about grace. We find that Grace in the service to one another because it is more than being helpful; it is worship.
We think of worship as being in church, singing hymns, and all that. Indeed, it is. But Lourdes is a place where we physically understand "what you do the least of my brethren you do unto Me." In helping the sick, smiling at a malade, and organizing rosary processions, we are choosing to help God who in the most ultimate sense helped us.
The worship of Lourdes is the worship of our God who is strong enough to be weak. His presence is found in those who are in the most need. They're the ones who are entitled -- in the true sense of the word -- to our action and attention. The Order of Malta calls those who are in need, "our lords, the sick and the poor." They have a title and a claim to our charity.
And in exercising that right, we find that we are ministering God Himself. This has been the motivation for Christian service for centuries. It is at the heart of some of the greatest saints of the church and the most impressive charities in the world.
But that worship, that experience of service, is much more than action of heart and will. This worship speaks to the soul. If it does not, it is a very nice thing and very useful but it is not worship. The experience of service as an act of Christian worship transforms the soul because on the deepest level, we recognize and we speak with the God whose grace has brought us into being.
In the Old Testament, there is a directive on major feast days: the crowds entering the Temple in Jerusalem should enter in one gate and leave by the other. More than a crowd control procedure (something these pilgrims are going to experience first-hand), it is a reflection that we do not leave worship the same as when we came. In the presence of God, we have confessed our sins, made our thanksgivings, prayed for those in need, and recognized the great mercy of God Who has loved us in ways beyond telling.
No one comes away from that the same. Perhaps that is why so many memories of many pilgrims to Lourdes is the prayer, the worship at the Rosary procession, the international Mass, etc. for some will find it in the rare silence of "Grotto time" or in a solitary silent moment.
This pilgrimage is an act of worship in the fullest sense of the word. It's not just about saying prayers and singing hymns; it is an encounter with the living God. This encounter is individual, communal, and universal. It involves ourselves and each other, alone and together.
It is not easy. Scripture says, "it is not an easy thing to fall into the hands of God." There is the opposition as we face the challenge of work, travel, and the spiritual things that challenge our commitment. Like Jacob wrestling with the Angel and even Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, we struggle. The struggle, this battlefield, is in the human heart -- and in the time spent in this holy place.
I ask you to continue to pray for all of us who are encountering this God in worship and service. Keep our struggle to recognize His sacred presence in your prayers. We will be remembering you in your own struggles. The difficulties of life are usually clear but not always apparent. Keep these pilgrims in prayer for we are all children of the heavenly Father and that makes us family. We will worship, we will come before the God who made us, we will kneel in prayer and stand to help. We do it not only in France with this group, we do it with you, the entire church in heaven and on earth.
Amen.
24 July
The second full day in Lourdes is always a wonderful day. The traveling is over, the bags have been unpacked and put away (in my case they fell) apart). We're here.
This morning we went out and began the work of the pilgrimage. I would say most of us had a full night's sleep. Still, everyone was very tired after such a long travel day. This morning I went down for lunch (I know, I know) and the pilgrims looked happy. I spoke briefly with one or two about the Baths and I didn't see anything to cause concern.
The second day is wonderful but not always easy. The pilgrims get an idea of what it is they will be doing over these next few days. They begin to appreciate of the landscape of where this work will occur.
From my perspective, I guess this is what parents feel like when their kids go off to school for the first time. It is more than hoping it won't be a disaster; it's hoping this will be something very good for them.
The mood at lunch seemed upbeat. Of course, being teenagers, I'm assuming the hamburgers and french fries -- yes, that is what they call them here -- is a help.
Right now, they are at their stations and learning how and what to do. We have mass at 5:00 PM and will be watching the movie on the life of St. Bernadette after dinner.
Just let you know, especially those of you in the heat of the Northeast, the weather is overcast and cool. Sweatshirts will be required for later. And yes, there is a very big smile on my face as I write.
25 July
I know I have not been as faithful to this blog as I wanted to. My reasons are mostly goods ones. This has been a very busy pilgrimage. A lot has happened since Saturday evening.
One of the outstanding characteristics of this group became visible over the weekend. This is a remarkably cohesive set of pilgrims. Sure, they clearly get along with each other very well, but there is more to it than that. They are committed to the work of the pilgrimage as individuals and together as a unit.
We spent Saturday night watching the movie about St. Bernadette and most of the kids were wide awake and responsive to it. We had a very quick quiz at the end and I was amazed at how much they retained from even the trivial facts of the life of St. Bernadette.
It is impressive to see is their reaction to the Baths.
Their job is to assist pilgrims were going into the springs of Lourdes water. It is a lot of work and it involves a great deal of communication with people in languages other than their own. And in so many ways they do very well.
Sunday was a big day here. It began with the international Mass at the underground Basilica of St. Pius X. The Pilgrims help get people into position and assisted the priests by escorting them to their Communion stations.
The Sunday International Mass is a unique experience because very few opportunities present themselves when we worship with literally thousands from all over the world. The use of multiple languages, the advantage of Latin here and there for the sake of unity gives one a sense of how big our church is.
Sunday afternoon I went down to the baths to see how the pilgrims were doing. They seemed content. The crowds in fact here have been noticeably lighter all over Lourdes. Many think it's because of the economic situation here in Europe which is serious, much like it is at home.
It was great to see them in action. It seems as if they "switched on the mechanism" and directed their attention totally and exclusively to the person needing help in or out of a wheelchair, stretcher, or whatever. I take this as a sign that they understand the importance of what they are doing and from all accounts, they're doing it well.
It was a lovely way to end up beautiful day. The weather here has been overcast for short periods of rain but nothing too heavy. We all know when we get back to the United States it's going to be tough. We keep hearing of the heat waves.
Sunday evening we "worked" the Rosary procession. It's about crowd control as well as participation in leading the Rosary in the main plaza. It is beautiful. Afterwards, we had a final reflection of the day out on the prairie.
Pray for us as we pray for you.
26 July
Monday morning began with our official picture as a group in front of the main basilica. We then had a morning of reflection offered by Barbara Davies who is a resident scholar in Lourdes. It was held in the chapel of the old orphanage on top of the hill. It is a Moorish designs chapel very conducive to prayer. The conferences centered around the apparitions here and the example and message they contain for us.
One of the striking things was timing was the timing of the apparitions. Between them there is silence. Barbara emphasized the role of prayerful silence to interpret the work of grace within. If there's ever a generation that needs to hear this, it is ours.
We had Mass and a bag lunch sitting outside the chapel. The pilgrims went down to the Baths to work and I retired to my room after getting up at an ungodly early hour.
I later went down to the Baths which were hopping with activity. The pilgrims were busy about the work they came here to do. Spirits seemed positive and very happy. To be honest, I wish I was able to be a part of this. Physically it's not possible I am more an obstruction when I'm there than a help. The pace of work does not allow obstruction. I guess this is out of my hands and resolution belongs to a Higher Up.
After dinner we made an attempt to make Rosaries for the Kennedy Project. This is known to Malta members as part of a project to create Rosaries out of rope (with no metal) for people to use while taking an MRI. Clearly this is a project I understand personally. The nobility of the cause, however, did not exactly match up to the manual dexterity needed to complete it. After a decent attempt, it was decided by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit that we should go and get ice cream. The Pilgrims had some free time to explore "international interrelations" especially with the newly arrived English pilgrims.
The day ended with a lot of happy noise on the streets and sleep was most welcome.
27 July
Einstein had a theory that time and space can be changed as it draws closer to a point of gravity. We know it when we are getting closer and closer to the appointment it seems as if time speeds up. The same is true in this holy place as we approach those final hours of our pilgrimage. I'm just saying it seems to happen. The things on the schedules get tighter and all the time you thought you had you actually do not.
What I'm basically saying is that my negligence in updating this blog (aside from a few pictures) is the result of the theory of relativity. I'm shifting the blame to Dr. Albert Einstein and the Creator of the laws of the universe.
So let me go back to 27 July. It was a very hot and busy day. The kids were working very hard and very late. But the day ended with our participation in the Rosary procession.
This is different from working the procession. When we work, we help with crowd control and the choir. But now as opposed to those other times, we are participating as pilgrims. We follow our banner and pray the Rosary walking. This allows for one of the primary experiences of the pilgrimage: devotion.
The old catechism describes prayer has the "lifting to God of the mind and heart". This is an excellent definition here enriched by and the third element of the body. It takes effort to walk, to keep silent, to say and sing as directed. This is a total prayer.
Something happened as well. One of our pilgrims (I'm not sure if he wants to be named in this blog so I won't) had a knee injury from before we began this pilgrimage. It flared up and was pretty clear as the day wore on that it was getting worse. A decision was offered that he should use a wheelchair. I was impressed by the difficulty of this. It was something I remember rather well myself.
Sure, this is not a dramatic and tragic event. Still, it is a young man with a slight injury and is limited by it. People who have the convenience of being remote from suffering would simply perhaps say "well you don't have it as bad as the other people here." But there is no competition when it comes to misery. There is no contest with suffering. And when I saw the difficulties of walking and the even more difficult acceptance of the situation, I told him it would give him a perspective on this whole pilgrimage like no other. And his face clearly understood that already.
For me, - and I know it is so personal and selfish - this was one of the most inspiring things of the day.
Lourdes is more than a few kindnesses and some charity from a handful of American teenagers. It will change the world forever in ways we cannot grasp.
It is always grace to see it happening and to believe that grace is working as much now as 152 years ago.
28 July
Make a joyful noise…
The work of this pilgrimage moved into a new phase. Instead of helping at the baths, the pilgrims went up the hill to the train station to assist the loading and unloading of malades.
What is very nice about this aspect of the work is the amount of time the Pilgrims can spend together. A great deal is waiting for the trains to arrive and depart. It may seem a contradiction to say that the better part of their work is to wait. But service, if it is true service, is never about the needs of the servant. There is a selfish service that demands satisfaction of the benefactor more than the recipient. Christian service is not like this because Christ was not like this. To use the sufferings, disability, and the obstacles of others for self-affirmation can be described as nothing less than cruel and abusive. No one sees that in the pilgrims on this pilgrimage. From their demeanor and descriptions, I believe a good number of them appreciate these inklings of a life of service to come.
So why the title “a joyful noise”?
Two reasons.
First, Lourdes is a noisy place. For those who have not been here perhaps you imagine throngs of the pious in deep meditation touched with the serenity of heaven itself. Those who have been to Lourdes are laughing at that description.
Lourdes is not a place people come to die. One Pilgrim, in commenting on the number of restaurants, bars, and–thankfully–ice cream stands, remarked that Lourdes is a place where people come to be alive. For the malades, especially those who by their circumstance are unable to see little more than the four walls of a hospital room, the gaudy and crass neon lights are a most welcomed change. The songs of fellow Christians can break the isolation of the antiseptic quiet they know too well.
Okay, that’s fine for one or two days. But last night the singing and shouting in the streets, assisted or not by the “fruit of the vine and the work of human hands”, was astoundingly annoying. European youth love loud communal nocturnal activities more than American youth. The “group sing” is clearly a tradition older than the United States. I’m not even sure if it is fueled more by tradition than alcohol. Nevertheless, the enthusiasm of screaming Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer” at 2 AM does not incite me to a deeper devotion to spiritual exercises. I hope I’m not sounding like a grumpy old man. I guess it’s better to hear the children than to wonder why they are being so quiet (parents: can I get an Amen?)
But there is a second noise. At the train station many European pilgrimages are accompanied by a number of youth who are expected to assist in the transport, baggage handling, and general functioning of the particular group while here in Lourdes. The pilgrimages from Italy stand out in this regard. And while at the station, these groups arrive and leave by train to singing and clapping and shouting and dancing. I’m impressed by the enthusiasm and the people they bring here are moved as well. My standout memory was one train beginning to pick up speed and those on the platform trying to sing with the departing pilgrims the “Ave Maria”.
I guess devotion mixed with the Doppler effect brings a smile from heaven.
July 29
Omega
The last day of this pilgrimage has come. We began the day early walking the lower Stations of the Cross (at the far end of the Prairie). After an opportunity for Confession, we were deeply honored by attending a conference with the medical director of Lourdes and the 61st documented cure. As a young girl she came to Lourdes in a body cast gripped by tuberculosis. She has come back - completely cured - every year to what she described in her soft Sicilian accent as "la casa de mi mama" - my mother's house.
The pilgrims began their preparation for leaving the house she spoke of. While some climbed one of the mountains overlooking the village, others shopped for last minute souvenirs and religious gifts. We had our final Mass where I revealed that these young people had been tricked and deceived.
Warning: spoiler alert!
They may have thought that they were going on a service mission–and of course they were -but there was more to it than that. The work they did here was true service. It was needed and it was appreciated. But that work in "la casa de mi mama" was never something on a to-do list or part of an assignment sheet. No, what they were doing they were doing for Christ. I'm not sure–but it is entirely possible–that on the Day of Judgment, the risen Lord of glory may approach them on a stretcher or in a wheelchair. In serving the “least of my brothers and sisters”, these young people not only approached the throne of grace; they touched it.
We had our final dinner, the revelation of prayer partners, and our final reflections.
And at 5:15 AM (yes, I was there) the bus departed for Pau.
30 July
Was this a perfect pilgrimage? Did everything go smoothly?
No. If it did, it would be a waste of time.
The humanity we encounter in Lourdes forbids pretensions of perfection. The well-dressed disabled and the shabbily dressed ambulatory give witness. The hymns sung in the Grotto by throngs of the faithful easily mix with the rowdy singing crowds piling out of the bars. The wheat and weeds grow in the same field.
It's easy to condemn this contradiction. After praying up a storm in the Sanctuary we can peek angrily out the window into the hazy electric behavior of people just like us. As St. Augustine pointed out, we are very ready to accuse others and just as easily excuse ourselves. We can see easily what is wrong “out there” because in our more honest moments we know what is wrong “in here.” Yes, it should not be this way. People should choose to do what is right and avoid what is wrong. We have an obligation from God to lead others by encouraging them to be more than what they expect of themselves and each other.
But perfection belongs to God alone and we cannot expect more of ourselves and each other than He does. Today is Friday, the traditional day of penance to pray the sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary.
I couldn't help this morning of thinking of this contradiction. At the critical moment, the disciples in the garden of Gethsemane are not living up to what was expected of them. Here was their Friend, their God, sharing in the deepest human anxiety we have–the fear of pain and death. What are they doing? They are sleeping. They were not, as we say so often at funerals, “there for Him.” Physically, they soon would really not be there for Him as they run away at His arrest. Like the denizens of the night here in Lourdes, we can condemn. They could've done better; they certainly had reason to. They had seen the miracles, they knew the grace and yet they were, well, human.
No, they were a disappointment on that night.
We know this; we have a record of it. That means one of them had one eye open. They would tell about that night years later and record it for us. What is abundantly clear is their failure was not greater than the call to holiness. The sad record of their unwillingness to be faithful would not be cause for condemnation but redemption. Their future fidelity–even to the point of martyrdom–would be infused with their knowledge of how easy it was to be unfaithful.
One of the first things Mary asked of Bernadette was prayer for sinners. When we look at the garden of Gethsemane, we see ourselves. As the empty bottles are picked up by the garbage collectors in the morning, the breaking glass mingles with the bells tolling the Angelus. Each of us can easily spend our first waking moments counting up the transgressions and mistakes of the night and the life before.
But if we look up just beyond the sweeping brooms and the boxes of empties, the river Gave still flows and passes in front of the Grotto. The waters that carried the shouts of revelers will soon carry the Ave of those celebrating something very different.
And perhaps the grace of every pilgrimage to Lourdes is to realize that these songs are sung by the same people–
us.