I will go unto the Altar...
Order of Malta
Summer Youth Lourdes Pilgrimage 2010 #2
30 July – 7 August
From the Introduction to Pilgrimage #1 blog:
20 July
I am beginning this blog for the first two pilgrimages of the Order of Malta Summer Youth Pilgrimages to Lourdes, France. This is my fourth pilgrimage in the summer to this sacred place.
Some of you may have followed the blogs in the past and I welcome you back. I also welcome those who are reading along for the first time. The point of this blog is to try and give a spiritual reflection on what we are doing on these two pilgrimages. I will try to avoid a “schedule blog” that merely lists what we are doing.
21 July
What are we doing?
Through the miracle of secondary education, somehow or another, I was taught the laws of physics and thermodynamics. Applying this knowledge has resulted in packing my bag.
Okay, to be honest it was probably more the hours playing Tetris and other video games!
Now the final hours before the pilgrimage...
I am backing up programs and files. I have a few last minute things to do and mentally, I am heading to the airport.
What is it we are going to?
I was showing a few people some of the videos from previous pilgrimages and I saw in their faces admiration of what has happened in the past. As I looked at the videos as well, I recalled the pilgrims who experienced a change in their lives because of this pilgrimage. Sure, there's some for whom it did not have that impact. But for many it really did.
And I hope this is why we are going there again.
Lourdes is about service; it is about grace. We find that Grace in the service to one another because it is more than being helpful; it is worship.
We think of worship as being in church, singing hymns, and all that. Indeed, it is. But Lourdes is a place where we physically understand "what you do the least of my brethren you do unto Me." In helping the sick, smiling at a malade, and organizing rosary processions, we are choosing to help God who in the most ultimate sense helped us.
The worship of Lourdes is the worship of our God who is strong enough to be weak. His presence is found in those who are in the most need. They're the ones who are entitled -- in the true sense of the word -- to our action and attention. The Order of Malta calls those who are in need, "our lords, the sick and the poor." They have a title and a claim to our charity.
And in exercising that right, we find that we are ministering God Himself. This has been the motivation for Christian service for centuries. It is at the heart of some of the greatest saints of the church and the most impressive charities in the world.
But that worship, that experience of service, is much more than action of heart and will. This worship speaks to the soul. If it does not, it is a very nice thing and very useful but it is not worship. The experience of service as an act of Christian worship transforms the soul because on the deepest level, we recognize and we speak with the God whose grace has brought us into being.
In the Old Testament, there is a directive on major feast days: the crowds entering the Temple in Jerusalem should enter in one gate and leave by the other. More than a crowd control procedure (something these pilgrims are going to experience first-hand), it is a reflection that we do not leave worship the same as when we came. In the presence of God, we have confessed our sins, made our thanksgivings, prayed for those in need, and recognized the great mercy of God Who has loved us in ways beyond telling.
No one comes away from that the same. Perhaps that is why so many memories of many pilgrims to Lourdes is the prayer, the worship at the Rosary procession, the international Mass, etc. for some will find it in the rare silence of "Grotto time" or in a solitary silent moment.
This pilgrimage is an act of worship in the fullest sense of the word. It's not just about saying prayers and singing hymns; it is an encounter with the living God. This encounter is individual, communal, and universal. It involves ourselves and each other, alone and together.
It is not easy. Scripture says, "it is not an easy thing to fall into the hands of God." There is the opposition as we face the challenge of work, travel, and the spiritual things that challenge our commitment. Like Jacob wrestling with the Angel and even Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, we struggle. The struggle, this battlefield, is in the human heart -- and in the time spent in this holy place.
I ask you to continue to pray for all of us who are encountering this God in worship and service. Keep our struggle to recognize His sacred presence in your prayers. We will be remembering you in your own struggles. The difficulties of life are usually clear but not always apparent. Keep these pilgrims in prayer for we are all children of the heavenly Father and that makes us family. We will worship, we will come before the God who made us, we will kneel in prayer and stand to help. We do it not only in France with this group, we do it with you, the entire church in heaven and on earth.
Amen.
Saturday 31 July 2010
If they came up with a word to describe the infrequency of my fidelity to this blog it couldn’t come soon enough. I hate beginning these entries with apologies. But thankfully, because of the wonder of Lourdes, they are more than excuses. They are reasons.
The second group arrived late on Saturday afternoon. The night before I enjoyed a delicious and authentic French dinner at Hotel de la Grotte loaded with calories and other reasons for regret. (No, we were well behaved!) I had the pleasure of dining with two seminarians. Brandon is at Immaculate Conception in Huntington, New York. Philip Johnson (of the blog In Caritate Non Ficta) is at St. Charles Borromeo, Philadelphia.
Saturday started to warm up as the bus pulled up. I greeted the pilgrims at the door of the hotel. Many of them I had either met before or been on pilgrimage here before. After a quick orientation we went to the Grotto and had a quick tour of the Domain. After Mass and dinner, we had our initial reflection group and exchange of prayer partners.
So let me reflect for a moment on what many pilgrims over the years can identify with. There is something unique about Lourdes. The neon lights cast a carnival-like glow over this older part of the town. The quintessentially French architecture is framed upon the countless stores selling everything from religious goods to clothing. One classmate from high school described it as “Christianity’s Disneyland.” The perpetual din of singing crowds and tour buses is as familiar as church bells and Ave Maria.
So how can this be home?
I think home is always where you belong. You are more than just welcomed; you are expected. The cacophony of languages is a single voice inviting you to take your place. This sight of familiar faces is affirming but never surprising. As the newly arrived pilgrims smiled and hugged the only differences were haircuts, new glasses, and little else.
For 17 summers in addition to a quarter century of organized May pilgrimages, the Order of Malta has placed its emphasis and resources to continue welcoming home thousands. We come here for a number of reasons as varied as our room assignments.
And in a world of so much isolation amid instant communication, we come to the beauty of this mountain town in the foothills of the Pyrenees to try and belong where we already belong.
Sunday 1 August 2010
No one comes to Lourdes to stay dry. If you don’t make it into the Baths it will not be long before heaven provides one. Perhaps being a mountain town closer to the skies it is more than my imagination that raindrops here are bigger than average. On the way to the underground basilica for the international Mass this morning, I discovered once again the cold exhilaration of the miracle of Lourdes and was drenched.
After lunch and a deep sleep nap, we had a holy hour in the oratory. This was the first afternoon the pilgrims worked at the baths. They were chatty, happy, and excited. We reflected prayerfully on the presence of Christ in those who come here and we help. It was clear from the reflection group after dinner the joy they were beginning to find even in this brief encounter of our mission. And as a part of the tradition of this pilgrimage, we watched an historically accurate account of St. Bernadette and the apparitions here in Lourdes. I tried to see how many of them stayed awake and paying attention by asking a few trivia questions. They got every one of them correct which means either that they are an incredibly intelligent group or my questions are too easy. I can tell you that I really believe it is the former rather than the latter.
One last reflection I would like to offer as I have before is my impression of the international Mass. Those who have attended it will understand. It is the Sunday Eucharist held in the underground basilica of St. Pius X. The altar is elevated in the middle of what can only be described as a huge underground airplane garage. The massive structure comfortably holds around 50,000 seated and standing. As I drove down the ramp to the altar area I could not help but recall a line from the book of the Apocalypse: “and I saw a huge crowd that no one could number standing before the throne of God.” With the organ peeling accompanied by the trumpet, once again this massive ecclesiastical gathering resonated with the smiles of the newly arrived pilgrims from the day before.
We were where we belong because we were home.
And it is good to be home.
Monday 2 August 2010
Truly Blessed
You know, each day here is a first day. Maybe not chronologically but for some one it is. Perhaps they come with some burden or maybe they’re just passing through. Families could have been planning for years or just drove here on a lark. Or possibly a seasoned pilgrim packed up for an annual trip to serve, pray and party.
But one thing is certain: no one is here by accident.
Monday morning was a seemingly light day at the Baths. I joined a few of our pilgrimage praying the Rosary in English, French, Spanish, Italian and Latin. Or at least we tried to. I was even able to use my iPad and pray the Litany of Loretto in Latin. Actually, it was quite popular. We prayed as malades were dutifully handled and transferred by our pilgrims. People came out of the baths with tears in their eyes and a peaceful face. And what a privilege to pray them through it all!
After lunch we headed out on the footsteps of St. Bernadette. We renewed our Baptism promises at the font she was Baptized. We crowded into the cramped room she called home and prayed for the many who know the strain of the difficult economy of today. We went to the mill of her family’s better circumstances, the place where she was born. We headed down the esplanade of the Sanctuary where she found (and was found by) the Reason we speak of her today. And then we heard the thunder.
We ran to the Holy Rosary Basilica to the tympani of heaven itself. We found refuge in a corner of the mosaic-lined church while an English pilgrimage held a reconciliation service with many priests hearing Confessions. It was a deeply moving proof of the refuge that is God’s mercy.
And this long day ended with working the Rosary Procession. We worked the crowd control and sang in thee Choir on the Basilica steps.
And while our initial “test run” was not exactly to the standards of a professional choir, we were blending well by the end.
And isn’t that the point of Lourdes anyway?
Tuesday 3 August 2010
Ave
This morning began down at the Baths as usual. I joined a few of our pilgrims in praying the Rosary over the sound system. We were fortunate enough to be joined also by a Dominican Sister from Ecuador now stationed in Spain. I don’t think I have ever said the Rosary as much in one day as I did this morning. And still, the crowd seemed restless.
Crowds are a reality in Lourdes. This is a place full of people. There are precious few moments and places of solitude and quiet.
But isn’t that the case with most families? Large families are not quiet environments. There is constant activity and action.
As you look out over the crowds – and often from within them – you begin to realize amid this great variety you have one thing in common. They are all welcomed and they are all supposed to be here. No one is here by accident. Their families have saved for years to bring their children or a sick relative to the springs.. Whatever the reason or story, faith presides.
I took advantage of the hour before lunch to do a little shopping and then headed back to the hotel for lunch. Today was starting to get warm and I began to feel fatigue setting in. I made the decision not to go down to the baths as I had in the morning but to rest.
Personally, this is one of the difficult parts of having multiple sclerosis. I used to have seemingly endless amounts of energy but now that is no longer the case. Of course, being 44 years old has nothing to do with it. But I digress. Physical limitations are part and parcel of the experience of Lourdes. Prudence is often more necessary virtue than courage.
This evening. I am writing this blog entry while we broke up into teams trying to tie Rosaries for the Kennedy project. At the same time, the English pilgrims in our hotel are having a sing-along and party.
And now the little darlings have a good chunk of free time. Then, after a pastry wrapped hot-dog, it was back to the hotel.
For a Rosary.
Ave Maria and good night.
Wednesday 4 August
At play in the fields of the Lord…
The morning began early as we headed down to the Prairie and to the Rotonde, a stone chapel way out by the entrance to the Lower Stations of the Cross. Barbara Davies gave the same reflections she had a week ago on the apparitions to St. Bernadette and their timing.
Excellent as ever, there was a unique addition. At the end, she asked if there were any questions. The kids asked a number of very deep questions. They were not silly or frivolous. These kids are very smart and they also have something very profound to them. Perhaps, this is once again an affirmation of the invitation to this sacred place.
We had a few breaks and then Mass. They were reverent and attentive. We took our lunches and when out onto the fields to eat. And that is where a miracle occurred.
This group of normal American high school students began playing a game. They took their sneakers, held them in front of their faces, and spun around as many times as they could. After a lot of twirling, laughing, and screaming, they began to fall down on the grass. It was like looking at the group of kindergartners at recess.
So what’s the miracle?
These kids, who came to this sacred place to work and serve, who, pray throughout the day from early morning until late at night, are American high school students. They live with pressures of getting into college, doing well socially, athletically, and in all the other ways the kids are pressured to grow up.
And yet, because of this place, because of the uniform, goals, and work of this pilgrimage they could live differently for a week. They could play and have fun without the electronic gadgets (which of course I love greatly) and the pressures of their life. They were able, for this brief period, to be kids again.
And then they went to the Baths to handle and hold the sick and disabled. On a rainy evening, they headed off to train station to do the same thing again as they loaded and unloaded the pilgrims coming to Lourdes looking for healing.
Back at the hotel, with ice cream and pizza in hand, we went into our reflection group to consider these wonderful things God has allowed us to do here.
A further miracle happened when it was announced that volunteers were needed for the 6:30 AM train. 16 of them instantly volunteered to get up around five o’clock in the morning to do this work.
I know it is easy to disparage the youth of today and God knows there are enough reasons to. But it is also a wonderful thing to see what can happen to children in this holy place. I know there are many parents and relatives of these pilgrims reading this blog. You should be very proud of them.
I couldn’t help but think that as your delightful children were spinning around like complete idiots, in the shadow of the spire of the sacred Basilica, Jesus and Mary were smiling.
Thursday 5 August August 2010
Winding Down
The work is slowing down for the pilgrims now. After a busy and early morning at the train station, they came to the Domain for Confessions, the Stations of the Cross and Mass. And following our Order of Malta banner we headed back down to walk, not work, the Rosary procession. We ended the day with a reflection group sitting on a chilly path through the prairie.
I know it sounds like a full and it was. Strangely, I don’t have any photos of it. It just didn’t seem the thing to do. Sure, I have tons of pictures of all these events over the past few years. And, yes, they would ham it up for the camera without much encouragement. But the accurate reason is simply that I was more interested being there than showing where we were.
Readers who have been to Lourdes before will agree that no photo really ever captures the experience of the Grotto. Nor should it. All expression is thwarted by the obvious.
And so a peaceful day ends in Lourdes and it was a good day.
Ordinary? For here, yes. If only ours away from here were so.
Friday 6 August 2010
The buses are rolling
The journey home is a long one. Two planes, buses, trains and a car. I don’t travel as well as I used to so I spent the day packing like I was playing Tetris. I took a break and tooled around the Gave. At almost every hotel, European coaches were loading last week’s pilgrims. I guess they’re all clearing out before next week’s huge French National.
Sitting under a tree in the cool next to the Gave, it felt very much like going off to school and leaving school for home. The time was right and both destinations good. But there is a melancholy in the leaving. Not sadness because that is temporary. Rather, it is a fondness that powerfully tugs at the heart. The signs and stores may be different on each return, but the essential remains. As the old Dewer’s commercial I quoted in my senior yearbook said, “the good things in life never vary.”
And even without a drop of Dewer’s, it is still true.
Saturday 7 August 2010
Farewell for Now
At 6:00 PM on August 6 the final Mass was held followed by dinner, once more through the Grotto, lit candles, got Lourdes water, revealed our prayer partners, had a final reflection and prepared for our 3:45 AM wakeup call.
Yup, 3:45 AM.
And by 5:00 AM on Saturday, August 7 we were on the way to the airport in Pau headed for Charles de Gaulle in Paris and onward to New York. Because I'd stayed up the night before, I got over six hours of sleep on the ride home. And, as far as I can tell, everyone arrived safely.
Given past experiences, I expected a mushy and fluffy emotional event as these final actions began. To be honest, it seemed very much the opposite. It wasn't that they were dying to get home and get out of Lourdes. I guess that would imply they didn't have a wonderful time.
Actually I think a good number of them are planning to return. The majority of the group are from the tri-state area in New York so seeing each other will not be all that difficult. Given the variations in any plan, they may return next year or the year after or at some distant point in the future. One day they may even come on the May pilgrimage as auxiliaries, knights or dames.
Funny, it just seemed as if no one wanted to spoil this trip by a soggy, tearful goodbye.
Salve Regina
The pilgrimage is over. I am seated in my comfy chair beginning the process of readjustment and desalinization. I've been cleaning up my poor grammar and spelling in this blog. I am getting used to ending the day without ice cream.
So what's my summary of this pilgrimage?
I think I can describe it in one word: contentment.
I am content that things went well. No one got out of hand or abandoned the project. The pilgrims grab hold of this opportunity and ran with it. And the work got done. I really believe they saw the potential with in each one of them for authentic service. I am sure that our prayer together was an essential and effective part of this successful pilgrimage.
But the truth of any pilgrimage lies long after the bags are unpacked. In the end, our destination is never a building or place. Our pilgrimage is always to the heart of the human person. A pilgrimage to Lourdes is a pilgrimage into the reality of human life. These pilgrims took that journey through the sick and disabled and found themselves on the doorsteps of their own hearts. Whether spinning around with wild abandon or half sleeping through my homilies, they were alive and they were free.
Throughout these two pilgrimages I've emphasized how Lourdes is a true home. Given the many displacing factors in contemporary American life, I am certain that we are all looking for a place to call home. For those of us fortunate to have one, more is always welcomed. For those of us who do not, one is certainly needed.
One first-time pilgrim glanced over to the Grotto and simply said, “I love it here.”
I don't think I could close out this blog with anything better.
